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Henry the Fourth Part 1

by William Shakespeare

Act 2, Scene 2 Easiest-to-Read Edition

 

 

 



Henry the Fourth Part 1 Act 2 Scene 2



The highway near Gadshill

Enter PRINCE HENRY, POINS, BARDOLPH, and PETO

Enter PRINCE HENRY, POINS, BARDOLPH, and PETO

POINS

Come, shelter (hide), shelter! I have removed Falstaff’s horse, and he frets (is chafed) like a gummed velvet (velvet with gum added to improve its appearance – it wears out easily).

 

POINS

Come, shelter, shelter! I have removed Falstaff’s horse, and he frets like a gummed velvet.

 

PRINCE HENRY

Stand close.

 

PRINCE HENRY

Stand close.

 

Exit POINS, BARDOLPH, and PETO exit

Exit POINS, BARDOLPH, and PETO exit

Enter FALSTAFF

Enter FALSTAFF

FALSTAFF

Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!

 

FALSTAFF

Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!

 

PRINCE HENRY

Peace, you fat-kidneyed rascal. What a brawling dost thou keep!

 

PRINCE HENRY

Peace, you fat-kidneyed rascal. What a brawling dost thou keep!

 

FALSTAFF

Where’s Poins, Hal?

 

FALSTAFF

Where’s Poins, Hal?

 

PRINCE HENRY

He is walked up to the top of the hill. I’ll go seek him.

 

PRINCE HENRY

He is walked up to the top of the hill. I’ll go seek him.

 

Exit PRINCE HENRY

Exit PRINCE HENRY

FALSTAFF

I am accursed to rob in that thief’s company. The rascal hath removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travel but four foot by the square further afoot, I shall break my wind (lose my breath). Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if I ’scape hanging for killing that rogue (namely, Poins). I have forsworn (renounced) his company hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I am bewitched with the rogue’s company. If the rascal hath not given me medicines to make me love him, I’ll be hanged. It could not be else: I have drunk medicines.— Poins! Hal! A plague upon you both.—Bardolph! Peto!— I’ll starve ere I’ll rob a foot further. An (if) ’twere not as good a deed (if it isn’t the best thing I could do for myself) as drink to turn true man (to become an honest man) and to leave (abandon) these rogues, I am the veriest varlet (most certain rascal) that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground is threescore and ten miles afoot with me, and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough. A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another!

 

FALSTAFF

I am accursed to rob in that thief’s company. The rascal hath removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travel but four foot by the square further afoot, I shall break my wind. Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if I ’scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I am bewitched with the rogue’s company. If the rascal hath not given me medicines to make me love him, I’ll be hanged. It could not be else: I have drunk medicines.— Poins! Hal! A plague upon you both.—Bardolph! Peto!— I’ll starve ere I’ll rob a foot further. An ’twere not as good a deed as drink to turn true man and to leave these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground is threescore and ten miles afoot with me, and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough. A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another!

 

They whistle.

They whistle.

Whew!

Whew!

Enter PRINCE HENRY, POINS, PETO, and BARDOLPH

Enter PRINCE HENRY, POINS, PETO, and BARDOLPH

A plague upon you all! Give me my horse, you rogues. Give me my horse and be hanged!

A plague upon you all! Give me my horse, you rogues. Give me my horse and be hanged!

PRINCE HENRY

Peace, you fat guts! Lie down, lay thine ear close to the ground, and list (listen) if thou canst hear the tread (horses’ hooves) of travelers.

 

PRINCE HENRY

Peace, you fat guts! Lie down, lay thine ear close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of travelers.

 

FALSTAFF

Have you any levers to lift me up again being down? 'Sblood, I’ll not bear mine own flesh so far afoot again for all the coin in thy father’s exchequer. What a plague mean you to colt (trick) me thus?

 

FALSTAFF

Have you any levers to lift me up again being down? 'Sblood, I’ll not bear mine own flesh so far afoot again for all the coin in thy father’s Exchequer. What a plague mean you to colt me thus?

 

PRINCE HENRY

Thou liest. Thou art not colted (provided with a colt); thou art uncolted (deprived of a colt – horse).

 

PRINCE HENRY

Thou liest. Thou art not colted; thou art uncolted.

 

FALSTAFF

I prithee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good king’s son.

 

FALSTAFF

I prithee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good king’s son.

 

PRINCE HENRY

Out, you rogue! Shall I be your ostler (horse attendant)?

 

PRINCE HENRY

Out, you rogue! Shall I be your ostler?

 

FALSTAFF

Hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters (as a member of the Order of the Garter)! If I be ta'en, I’ll peach (be an informer against you) for this. An (if) I have not ballads made on you all and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison—when a jest (removing his horse) is so forward (ahead of its time) and [I] afoot, too! I hate it.

 

FALSTAFF

Hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters! If I be ta'en, I’ll peach for this. An I have not ballads made on you all and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison—when a jest is so forward, and afoot too! I hate it.

 

Enter GADSHILL

Enter GADSHILL

GADSHILL

Stand (hold still).

FALSTAFF

So I do, against my will.

 

GADSHILL

Stand.

FALSTAFF

So I do, against my will.

 

POINS

O, ’tis our setter (spy). I know his voice, Bardolph. —What news?

 

POINS

O, ’tis our setter. I know his voice, Bardolph. —What news?

 

GADSHILL

Case you (hide), case you. On with your vizards (masks). There’s money of the King’s coming down the hill. 'Tis going to the King’s exchequer.

 

GADSHILL

Case you, case you. On with your vizards. There’s money of the King’s coming down the hill. 'Tis going to the King’s Exchequer.

 

FALSTAFF

You lie, you rogue. 'Tis going to the King’s Tavern.

 

FALSTAFF

You lie, you rogue. 'Tis going to the King’s Tavern.

 

GADSHILL

There’s enough to make (be the making of) us all.

 

GADSHILL

There’s enough to make us all.

 

FALSTAFF

To be hanged.

 

FALSTAFF

To be hanged.

 

PRINCE HENRY

Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane. Ned Poins and I will walk lower. If they ’scape from your encounter, then they light on us.

 

PRINCE HENRY

Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane. Ned Poins and I will walk lower. If they ’scape from your encounter, then they light on us.

 

PETO

How many be there of them?

 

PETO

How many be there of them?

 

GADSHILL

Some eight or ten.

 

GADSHILL

Some eight or ten.

 

FALSTAFF

Zounds, will they not rob us?

 

FALSTAFF

Zounds, will they not rob us?

 

PRINCE HENRY

What, a coward, Sir John Paunch?

 

PRINCE HENRY

What, a coward, Sir John Paunch?

 

FALSTAFF

Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your grandfather, but yet no coward, Hal.

 

FALSTAFF

Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your grandfather, but yet no coward, Hal.

 

PRINCE HENRY

Well, we leave that to the proof.

 

PRINCE HENRY

Well, we leave that to the proof.

 

POINS

Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge. When thou needest him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell and stand fast.

 

POINS

Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge. When thou needest him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell, and stand fast.

 

FALSTAFF

Now cannot I strike (reach) him, if I should be hanged.

 

FALSTAFF

Now cannot I strike him, if I should be hanged.

 

PRINCE HENRY

(aside to POINS ) Ned, where are our disguises?

 

PRINCE HENRY

(aside to POINS ) Ned, where are our disguises?

 

POINS

(aside to PRINCE HENRY) Here, hard by. Stand close.

 

POINS

(aside to PRINCE HENRY) Here, hard by. Stand close.

 

Exeunt PRINCE HENRY and POINS

Exeunt PRINCE HENRY and POINS

FALSTAFF

Now, my masters, happy man be his dole (destiny), say I. Every man to his business.

 

FALSTAFF

Now, my masters, happy man be his dole, say I. Every man to his business.

 

Enter the TRAVELERS

Enter the TRAVELERS

FIRST TRAVELER

Come, neighbor, the boy shall lead our horses down the hill.

We’ll walk afoot awhile and ease our legs.

 

FIRST TRAVELER

Come, neighbor, the boy shall lead our horses down the hill.

We’ll walk afoot awhile and ease our legs.

 

THIEVES

Stand!

 

THIEVES

Stand!

 

TRAVELERS

Jesus bless us!

 

TRAVELERS

Jesus bless us!

 

FALSTAFF

Strike! Down with them! Cut the villains' throats! Ah, whoreson caterpillars, bacon-fed knaves, they hate us youth. Down with them! Fleece them!

 

FALSTAFF

Strike! Down with them! Cut the villains' throats! Ah, whoreson caterpillars, bacon-fed knaves, they hate us youth. Down with them! Fleece them!

 

TRAVELERS

O, we are undone, both we and ours forever!

 

TRAVELERS

O, we are undone, both we and ours forever!

 

FALSTAFF

Hang, you gorbellied (fat) knaves! Are you undone? No, you fat chuffs ( clowns). I would your store (I wish your abundant belongings) were here . On, bacons (hillbillies), on! What, you knaves, young men must live. You are grandjurors (wealthy), are you? We’ll jure you, faith.

 

FALSTAFF

Hang, you gorbellied knaves! Are you undone? No, you fat chuffs. I would your store were here. On, bacons, on! What, you knaves, young men must live. You are grandjurors, are you? We’ll jure you, faith.

 

Here they rob them and bind them. Exeunt

Here they rob them and bind them. Exeunt

Enter PRINCE HENRY and POINS

Enter PRINCE HENRY and POINS

PRINCE HENRY

The thieves have bound the true (honest) men. Now could thou and I rob the thieves and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a week, laughter for a month, and a good jest forever.

 

PRINCE HENRY

The thieves have bound the true men. Now could thou and I rob the thieves and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a week, laughter for a month, and a good jest forever.

 

POINS

Stand close, I hear them coming.

 

POINS

Stand close, I hear them coming.

 

PRINCE HENRY and POINS hide. Enter the thieves again

PRINCE HENRY and POINS hide. Enter the thieves again

FALSTAFF

Come, my masters, let us share, and then to horse before day. An (if) the Prince and Poins be not two arrant cowards, there’s no equity stirring. There’s no more valor in that Poins than in a wild duck.

 

FALSTAFF

Come, my masters, let us share, and then to horse before day. An the Prince and Poins be not two arrant cowards, there’s no equity stirring. There’s no more valor in that Poins than in a wild duck.

 

As they are sharing, PRINCE HENRY and POINS set upon them.

As they are sharing, PRINCE HENRY and POINS set upon them.

PRINCE HENRY

Your money!

 

PRINCE HENRY

Your money!

 

POINS

Villains!

 

POINS

Villains!

 

They all run away, and FALSTAFF , after a blow or two, runs away, too, leaving the booty behind them.

They all run away, and FALSTAFF , after a blow or two, runs away, too, leaving the booty behind them.

PRINCE HENRY

Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse.

The thieves are all scattered and possessed with fear

So strongly that they dare not meet each other.

Each takes his fellow for an officer.

Away, good Ned. Falstaff sweats to death

And lards the lean earth as he walks along.

Were ’t not for laughing, I should pity him.

 

PRINCE HENRY

Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse.

The thieves are all scattered, and possessed with fear

So strongly that they dare not meet each other.

Each takes his fellow for an officer.

Away, good Ned. Falstaff sweats to death,

And lards the lean earth as he walks along.

Were ’t not for laughing, I should pity him.

 

POINS

How the fat rogue roared!

 

POINS

How the fat rogue roared!

 

Exeunt

Exeunt

 

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